Go to next audioGo to next audioGo to prev audioGo to prev audioVanishing Twin or Stolen Baby? You decide. (Part 1)Vanishing Twin or Stolen Baby? You decide. Listen to @SEzekwesili talk to Mr and Mrs Karuna on #TheGlassCeiling
Live feed – http://nigeriainfo.fm
Catch up with part 2 on https://anchor.fm/hardfactswithsandra/episodes/Vanishing-Twin-or-Stolen-Baby–You-decide–Part-2-ej2999/a-a343isu46:24September 2, 2020How Do We Protect Widows’ Rights In Nigeria?How Do We Protect Widows’ Rights?
It’s International Youth Day, but let’s remember that young and middle-aged women are widowed every day as well. And so, all the terrible widowhood ordeals we’ve been talking about for the last few weeks, are happening to young people too. So today, we’ll be talking MORE about that, but also talking solutions.
#HardFacts | Sandra Ezekwesili51:27August 12, 2020Would You Want Your Widowed Mother To Remarry?#TheGlassCeiling: If your widowed mother wanted to remarry, would you approve?
Has the situation come up for you?
Or are you a widow?
Has there been an expectation of you NOT to remarry?
How do you feel about it?
Why do you think so many people in our society put this expectation on widows?
#HardFacts | Sandra Ezekwesil51:12July 22, 2020Is A Woman From Her Home State, Her Husband’S Home State Or Both??
#TheGlassCeiling: Is a woman from her home state, her husband’s home state, or both?
Last week, the President nominated Nimi Akinkugbe as an ambassador from Ondo but some people in Ondo are opposing this because she is from Rivers State.
Do you agree with YAYON and the Ondo Youth Coalition? Or, do you think Akinkugbe is qualified, and is an Ondo woman by marriage?
Nimi Akinkugbe. She’s been married to her husband, Yinka, for 30 years, and they have 3 children. She’s a graduate of the London School of Economics. She has an MBA – a Masters in Business Administration. She worked in banking for over 20 years. In that time, she rose up to be General Manager of Private Banking at Stanbic IBTC, and then she moved to Barclays Bank, an international bank, where she became West Africa Regional Director for the Wealth & Investment Management Division.
Nimi Akinkugbe was born to a Rivers family. Her original surname is Ajumogobia.51:31July 8, 2020Why do the Police usually NOT Take Rape Seriously? We talked about how our society gives rapists a “soft landing”, and how that’s ONE of the reasons rape is so rampant. No consequences. There are MANY ways that our society basically makes it easy for people who rape people, to get away with it, without any permanent repercussions.
We have so many people, in Nigeria, raping with impunity. Because they believe nothing will happen. And you know what? They’re USUALLY right. USUALLY, we let the rapist go.
Sometimes it’s because they have power, and so they intimidate enough people.
Or sometimes, it’s because they have money, and so they pay enough people off.
Or sometimes, it’s because they are LIKED. Simply because they are LIKED. And so, we PITY them. We pity the rapist more than we pity the survivor. And so we say “forgive him na. Do you want to ruin his life?”
What about the survivor’s life?50:01July 1, 2020COVID-19 and SBV: The Nigerian Story part 2The lockdown affected the world in numerous ways and as with many things, had an added layer for women and girls. All over the world, reports of domestic violence and sexual abuse rose dramatically. This episode triea to answer why.51:25April 29, 2020COVID-19 and SBV: The Nigerian StoryThe lockdown affected the world in numerous ways and as with many things, had an added layer for women and girls. All over the world, reports of domestic violence and sexual abuse rose dramatically. This episode triea to answer why.51:58April 22, 2020Where is A Nigerian Woman Really From?On this episode, we talk about the Acting Chief Judge in Cross River State, who was NOT confirmed, because she is originally from Akwa Ibom.
This is even though she is the most senior judge in the State, and her husband is from there.50:55March 11, 2020#IWD2020: What Changes Nigerian Women Want To mark International Women’s Day, we did something different this week. There is no special topic, and in fact, you won’t be hearing from me. You will be hearing from other women. Everyday women. Sixty Women over the next Sixty Minutes. These women, from all works of life, from all ages, and from all over the globe, answered a question I asked:
“What would you change about Nigeria, to make life better for women?”
They thought about it, based on the lives THEY have lived, and sent me their answers.
And here they are.
48:55March 4, 2020Intimate Partner Violence against MenIt’s a topic that many people often find to UNCOMFORTABLE to discuss. But because of that discomfort, so many men are suffering in silence. Does thay discomfort come from the same tap that holds women back?54:51March 2, 2020How to Handle Inappropriate Feelings at WorkOn this episode, we continued last week’s conversation. Last week, I brought you a story that Pastor Adeboye told. I’m talking about Pastor Enoch Adeboye, the General Overseer of the Redeemed Christian Church of God. He was tweeting about how to handle sexual tension in a workplace. Like I told you last week, the title of his sermon was “Crush That Crush”. It was really for married people. He was advising them not to allow friendships or work relationships with people of the opposite sex get TOO close, or TOO emotional, because na from clap dance dey start. Friendships lead to crushes, which COULD lead to something more. And he focused workplace crushes.55:14February 17, 2020Is it Time to Serve with Skirts?A group of women are petitioning the National Youth Service Corps, to let them DECLINE to wear the trousers. They want to have the option to wear SKIRTS as part of their NYSC uniform.
The group is called the “Serve with Skirts Movement”.55:16February 5, 2020Nigeria, Spirituality and Sexual Harassment.On this episode of the Glass Ceiling we talked about the idea of women getting fired and not getting employed, whenever male employers are worried about attraction. We looked at a tweet by Pastor Enoch Adeboye, that a married man should FIRE his secretary if he likes her too much, to save his marriage.51:07February 5, 2020Does a Husband belong to his Wife’s Homeland?This has come up because by the Nigerian Constitution, a foreign woman can become a citizen if she marries a Nigerian, but a foreign man cannot get Nigerian citizenship from his wife.
51:07December 20, 2019Nigerian Entertainment and Rape Culture We took a look at the ways in which the images and ideas that are communicated to us through entertainment may normalize, perpetuate, and justify rape culture.
55:57December 18, 2019Comedy and Rape Culture in Nigeria(Part 2)We took a look at the ways in which the images and ideas that are communicated to us through entertainment may normalize, perpetuate, and justify rape culture.
53:27December 18, 2019What if Children Are NOT A Blessing from God?We discuss this other common reason why people put pressure on young couples to have children. Children are seen as a sign of God’s Blessings, and having children is seen as God’s will. Have YOU ever felt that way? Did you ever feel under pressure to have children, for the sake of your parents or relatives? Do you know anyone who is under that pressure? Why do you think parents put so much pressure on their children, especially their daughters, to give them grandchildren? What can we do, as a society, to reduce this particular pressure?53:09November 27, 2019The pressure on women to procreate continues in this episode and takes a critical look at the need to carry on the family name as a possible factor for why society mounts pressure on women to have children.52:06November 10, 2019Baby Factories: The Root Causes Part 2On this episode, we continued a very powerful conversation about baby factories. Baby factories were in the news because the Lagos State Police Command raided a chain of them. So because it was in the headlines, we talked about them with two women who know a LOT about baby factories, because they have done a lot of work to fight human trafficking, and to expose the social issues behind the rise of baby factories. They had their time last week. This episode was all about you.51:08November 3, 2019The Pressure on Women to Have ChildrenOver the last two episodes, we had a very powerful conversation about baby factories. At the start of the month, the Lagos State Police Command raided a chain of them. Last week, I brought the conversation to you. I asked you to call in, and share what YOU know about baby factories. You talked to me about WHY they exist. Why are people going to baby factories? Why is there a demand? And most of your answers came down to one point: People feel under IMMENSE pressure to have BIOLOGICAL children.
Thats what we discuss here.52:18October 30, 2019Baby Factories: The Root Causes.A few weeks ago, the Lagos State Police Command raided a chain of baby factories.
This is just the latest in a LONG list of discovered baby factories all over the country,
since at least 2006.
Baby factories are places where pregnant women are kept, often against their will,
until they give birth. The babies are then sold secretly.
So on this episode, we talk about baby factories and the several crimes, and
several problems, rolled into this huge criminal enterprise. 52:04October 22, 2019The Trafficking of Women and GirlsOn this episode, we are took on a crime that is destroying lives both within and outside Nigeria. The crime is human trafficking, especially sex trafficking.
54:06September 25, 2019Domestic work/Household chores seemed to be the main sticking point that was causing conflict in the homes of the Nigerians living in the diaspora whom we talked about in our last two episodes. These women were working for long hours outside the home – often longer hours than their husbands. But their husbands STILL expected them to handle ALL the domestic work. Cooking. Cleaning. School runs. Childcare. Grocery shopping. Laundry. All the things that keep a home running. We talk about House work and Gender Roles on this episode.53:52August 28, 2019Why Are Nigerian Nurses Getting Killed By Their Nigerian Husbands In America? Part 2We are continuing the conversation we had in part 1, but taking it in a slightly different direction. On this episode, we want to explore the mental health and psychological side of this phenomenon.
Some American researchers conducted a study into the Domestic & Intimate Partner Violence Among Nigerian Nurses In The United States.
And we have one of the doctors who conducted the research on our podcast today.
He is the Medical Director of Errera Community Care Center at Virginia-Connecticut Healthcare System.
He is also Project Lead on The HAPPINESS Project which aims to increase access to evidence-based treatments for mental, neurological and substance use disorders in Nigeria. And we will be talking to him about that work as well. His name is Dr Theddeus Iheanacho. 50:46August 26, 2019Why Are Nigerian Nurses Getting Killed By Their Nigerian Husbands In America? Irene Chidinma Nwoye wrote an article for Al-Jazeera called: “The hotline trying to stop men murdering their wives”. The article put a spotlight on a BIG problem in the Nigerian community in America: Lots of women, ESPECIALLY nurses, are suffering domestic violence at the hands of their husbands, and some of them are getting murdered. It’s a story we have been hearing about in bits and pieces over the years. It’s been murmured here and there. But this article really painted the big picture, and it talked about the efforts of the National Association of Nigerian Nurses in North America (NANNNA) to fight the problem.
But a couple of weeks ago, the article started trending again, on Nigerian social media. People started talking about the hotline, and about the SOCIAL forces behind the t trend. Some people were condemning all the murders of nurses. But others were also attacking the nurses, and taking the side of the HUSBANDS.
So on this episode, we talk about why this is happening. We talk about the cultural issues that are leading to all this domestic violence and murder, and the JUSTIFICATION of it by so many people.
53:40August 8, 2019What does Feminism Mean to You(part 2)?Sandra spoke with St. Petersbell Jigo about the entire spectrum of gender issues in Nigeria. St. Petersbell is an oil and gas executive, a life coach, a philanthropist, and a revivalist. 51:36August 3, 2019Destigmatizing Mental Health In NigeriaOn this episode, I talked about mental health with Hauwa Ojeifo, founder and CEO of She Writes Women, a movement that provides mental health services to women. Mental health challenges impact both men and women, so while we talked about challenges common with or unique to women, we also kept the conersation relevant for both genders. Because it is.
54:56July 21, 2019Inheritance: Why do some cultures exclude women?So when we talk about “women and inheritance”, let us remember we mean TWO categories of women. We mean daughters inheriting from their parents, but we ALSO mean WIVES inheriting from their husbands. And we are going to be talking about both phenomena separately.
Why do some cultures exclude daughters and wives?54:06July 20, 2019What does ‘Feminism’ mean to you?This episode is all about clearing the air. There is too much tension and misunderstanding around the issue of feminism in Nigeria.
So today is all about dialogue. Today, you will tell me what you think feminism is about, and I will have my guest – a feminist – telling you
what feminism is REALLY about. Let us see if there is a meeting of the minds somewhere. And then, once we are clear on what the TRUE
definition of feminism is, we can talk about whether or not feminism is a good thing for society. 54:15July 18, 2019Why is there so much silence surrounding Male Rape? On this episode, Sandra looks at all the various avenues that put boys and young men at risk of rape. She talked about the aspects of rape culture in our society that makes men a target. She talked about the ways we can fight and suppress these aspects of our society and culture, to make life safer for all of us. 25:52July 17, 2019The Stigma of Sex Work as a Glass Ceiling pt 3
This topic was inspired by something terrible happening in our country. The police raids and illegal arrest of women in Abuja.
The police went to different spots in our nation’s capital, and arrested just about every woman they saw. They accused them of prostitution.
Women who could prove they were married were released. The single women were dragged off into police vans and pickups, and driven to Utako Police Station.
The women, and people who spoke with them, claim they were extorted for money, and some were sexually assaulted.
Over 70 women were taken to the station that night, to join others who had been previously arrested.
No man was arrested.50:46July 8, 2019 Rape Culture in The Church. On this episode, we talk about rape culture in one particular institution. The church.
Religious bodies are institutions like every other. They are made up of people. All types of people. There are rapists in every organization. The question is: does my organization give them room to operate?
We are hearing many stories about sexual abuse, sexual grooming, sexual harassment, and rape by church workers. But more disturbingly, we hear stories about these crimes being covered up not just by church officials, but even by members, including the families of the survivors.
We discuss how big the problem is, and try to figure out how to HELP the church fight it.57:21July 6, 2019The Stigma Of Sex Work As A Glass Ceiling Part 2The FCTA and the AEPB sent a task force with police escort to various nightclubs in Abuja and arrested 70 patrons of these nightclubs, and even people just in the vicinity.
All of them were women.
The task force accused these women of being sex workers. Any of them who couldn’t prove they were married, by showing a wedding ring, were arrested. The married women were released. The arrested women say that police physically assaulted them, extorted them for money, and raped them. They were denied access to lawyers and legal advice.
On this episode, we ask why.
49:22May 7, 2019This is How Nigerian Laws make Life Harder for Women. On this episode we looked at some of the major ways our laws make life harder for women. We want to look at how these laws and legal attitudes impact women at home, in the workplace, and in society.
53:36March 27, 2019This is why the higher you go up the corporate ladder, the fewer women you see.We talked about some of the challenges women face in the workplace, that slow their advancement up the corporate or business ladder on this episode.
Here in Nigeria, women have a smaller percentage of the workforce, because men get hired more often than women.
The percentage of women in management is even smaller than the percentage of women workers, because even fewer women are getting promoted.
And as for rising to the very top of Corporate Nigeria, to become CEOs and MDs, it is still mostly a Boy’s Club.
Why is it that the higher you go, the fewer women you see? What can be done to change this?45:11January 23, 2019Let’s Talk about Marital Rape.This episode takes on a subject that is quite controversial in Nigeria, even though it shouldn’t be.
Marital rape or spousal rape is the act of sexual intercourse with one’s spouse without the spouse’s consent.
Why is there a controversy about this? Why is the rape of one human being by another seen by some in our society as tolerable, or even not rape at all, simply because they are married to each other?
What can and should be done to sensitive Nigerians about this form of violence, and to protect women and men from it?52:51January 9, 2019Sexual Harassment in NigeriaOn this episode, we discuss sexual harassment as we experience and witness it here in Nigeria.
It happens here so often that a woman finally said “enough in enough”, and other women said “amen”, and joined her. They organized the first ever “Market March”, which went into Yaba Market, to protest how the male shopkeepers treat female shoppers, and to raise awawareness.
57:02January 2, 2019What can We as a society do to bring about better gender parity in government?Women on the road to power face at every milestone obstacles and challenges that their male co-travellers do not even have to THINK about.
We talked on this episode about those challenges. We discussed the way women in other nations have overcome these challenges, and whether those solutions can be applied in Nigeria.
But really, this conversation was about figuring out what ALL of us, women AND men, can do in our own space, to bring about better gender parity in government, and why this is a win for everybody.55:51December 19, 2018 Let’s take two examples, one from pop culture, and the other from sociology. So in pop culture you have women who started calling themselves “slay queens” because they were slaying life. They were doing well at work and at home, and looking good doing it. They congratulated themselves online by calling themselves slay queens.
Now, the term has been twisted and made into something derogatory.
In sociology, we have feminist. A feminist is anyone who believes in gender equality, and that women have the same rights as men. Simple. It’s an ideology. But Nigerian society has twisted the meaning of the word to the point that many women are AFRAID of being Called feminists.
Why does this keep happening? Why does society twist the labels women give themselves into something ugly?
50:32December 12, 2018